Sunday 12 February 2017

First draft LR

WWW: You've addressed a fantastic topic with solid research and some excellent quotes and plenty of relevant texts

-There is clear potential to take this to a higher grade

EBI: Howeve, im disappointed in the quality of written english the first page is mixed but from page 2 limited capital letters used for name of newspapers. Needs proofreading

-bibliography is web heavy, not enough evidence of research in the essay more quotes required for top level

-last couple of pages need serious work- drift off question, did social media influence the referendum? echo chambers... fake news... but keep focused on the question

-add the front pages to your essay and offer more textual analysis.

In the second draft i'm aiming for a minimum of 38-40- level 4-B+

1- Proof read and correct grammar so there are no mistakes

2- Re-visit the BFI library and reach a minimum of 10 books

3- Reach a minimum of 30 quotes for next draft

4- Bring focus back to the question at the end of each paragraph and when comparing

5- Include more theory (what has been learnt in lesson recently) and more textual analysis of front covers

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